Friday, December 14, 2012
The Day After Triple 12
12/12/12 was the other day zomg. What even happened? It was a Wednesday. I went to breakfast with my grandma at Eat n' Park. Then I came home and my mom made me read a book. This tweet by awesome dude @neiltyson made me feel a little more meh about the 12/12/12 and a bit more positive about the following day, the following hour, minute, etc. I'm deep?
That's why I woke up on 12/13/12 to take an online exam at 8 AM and vegged on the worn leather chair in my living room all day watching Forrest Gump, 30 Rock reruns and ugly Eagles football.
The Eagles fumbled in public for a few hours and I set up an Ikea TV stand for my mom. Unlike the Eagles, Ikea products are usually pretty reliable once you figure out how to construct the damn thing.
My dad watched Sopranos reruns because why the hell not, he's a straight thug. A man of 60 years and a Catholic school graduate. He's been a Big East basketball fan since he went to Pitt law school in the 70's and even he's dismissed the conference at this point.
Georgetown, St. John's, Seton Hall, Villanova, Providence, DePaul and Marquette were sick of being basketball only schools pushed around by a wannabe football conference. I feel like I should have realized Georgetown, Seton Hall and Marquette were Catholic schools before today. But I didn't, and I don't feel bad about it.
Now that Josh Hamilton is off the table, the Big East defectors might be the top free agents in the country. Hell, with $125 million in his pocket, Hamilton might start his own conference and morph it into a baseball/basketball hybrid sport. That's not a thing, that won't happen.
Los Angeles teams have unlimited money and resources, apparently. And by "Los Angeles teams" I mean the Dodgers. Maybe the Lakers. Can't be talking about the Angels because they are in Anaheim. 30 miles southeast of a city doesn't mean you're all about that city. Tell that to people in the 724 who think they're from the 412.
Good for the Angels though, the top of their lineup shouldn't be allowed to be legal. And by "the top of their lineup" I mean Mike Trout. He's a freak. Not quite Bo Jackson, but don't put it past Trout to pick up football as a "hobby" in the coming years if he wants to.
Rob Parker might need a new "hobby" after he gets fired from ESPN. Maybe he could be a consultant on Maury to judge the overall blackness of the guests. Are they a "cornball brother?" Are they married to a white girl? Are they... A REPUBLICAN?! God forbid a person has a strong sense of self and is comfortable with their own qualities. Life is life, people do things and they are who they are. Deal with it, idiot.
You know something else? The Boston Beaneaters were the original team in the current Atlanta Braves franchise. Look it up, I read it in a book with limited pictures.
What a day.